Pitthu & Bittu ~ Simmi Darling in Cinthol

Ummm, I’m sleepy but, today the day was complex… like it was kind of funny, I mean, I don’t really know…

It was afternoon, all the grownups were snoring in their rooms. Pitthu and I were playing hide and seek, the Kapoor kids were here, at home, and so were the Kaushik kids. I hate the Kaushik kids, especially that Mihir, he is so sickly and fat and keeps eating all the time. But then as there are not many kids in our neighborhood, I have to put up with Mihir the pigir. Yeah, I call him that, but only behind his back.

So, we all were playing hide and seek and Pitthu was the den. Though, our house is huge, very huge and there are so many rooms, yet I wanted to hide in a new place, where I knew Pitthu wouldn’t be able to catch me. So, I gave a quick thought and ran into Chachaji’s room, it wasn’t locked and when I pressed the handle down, it easily opened. Usually, we don’t go to Chachaji’s room as he is always sulking and shouts and is in a nasty mood, but then I knew that Pitthu wouldn’t dream of looking for me in Chachaji’s room, so I crept inside and hid behind the sofa.

I shut my mouth with my hand, lest Chachaji and Chachiji heard my breath. I looked towards their bed and saw something really funny. So, funny that I wanted to laugh loudly, but I muffled my laughter as I didn’t want to be discovered.

Chachaji was lying on Chachiji’s lap, see, I always knew he was such a baby. Ha…ha…ha…lying on Chachiji’s lap, the big bully was acting like a baby. Chachaji the Fachaji… Yes, Pitthu and I often call her that, but obviously behind her back. She’s so oily and fleshy, her wrists remind me of tandoori chicken, all juicy and fleshy. Every time, dad forces me to have chicken leg, I have to squeeze the memories of Chachiji’s wrists out of my mind. Ugh…

I looked at them again, he was lying on Chachiji’s fat, very fat lap and whispering something strange like, “Simmi darling, awwww, Simmi darling, awww”. I was zapped coz Chachiji’s name is Seema, why Simmi? Then another strange thing happened and I forgot my hide and seek. “Simmi, darling,” the aww sound again made me look at them. They were doing completely bizarre stuff.

Chachaji, as if in some kind of pain, hurriedly lifted Chachiji’s kurta. She always wears these huge weird kurtas. Inside the kurta, she was wearing a funny white vest that did not come till her stomach. I remember I’ve seen them in TV ads, they have a brrr brrr name. Oh, then you know what, Chachaji lifted that brr thing of Chachiji and a huge cloud of white something fell on his face. Poor thing, he got up huffing and puffing and was covered in all white powder. He looked like a ghost, white eyelashes, white eyebrows, white lips… I almost fainted laughing.

Chachaji started yelling, “What is wrong with you, you stupid woman? Why do you put so much podwer?” He kept on yelling and kept on dusting his face with a hand towel. He was no longer calling her “Simmi darling, awww”. “Seema, now I know where does all the Cinthol go? You, you, you desi woman,” he yelled.

I guess, Chachiji had put lots of Cinthol on her funny looking chest and when Chachaji lifter her brrr, the whole thing fell on his pudgy face. Haa… ha…ha… good for him, serves him right.

I waited quietly behind the sofa, I was so amused and so afraid of being discovered that I couldn’t even laugh when i wanted to cry with laughter. I could hear, Pitthu yelling for my name, everyone was discovered and I was the only one left and my sister sounded angry and irritable. But I had to wait for Chachaji to go somewhere or sleep.

So I waited…

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